Bank shares slump, profits down. Scotiabank and BMO saw their share prices dip after reporting that Q2 profits fell compared to the same fiscal period last year. Scotiabank saw $2.16 billion in profits, down from $2.75 billion in 2022. BMO profits fell by almost $4 billion. One cause of lower profit margins? Banks set aside money to cover potentially bad loans, also known as "provisions for credit losses."

Canada Pension Plan investments return 1.3%. The CPP Investment Board posted returns of 1.3% in the last fiscal year, faring slightly worse than the S&P 500 over the same period but outperforming reference portfolios the CPPIB uses to measure performance. "Our investment portfolio remained resilient, delivering stable returns while outperforming major indexes," CPP Investments chief executive John Graham said.

Apple nears valuation milestone. A 34% jump in the tech company's share price over the last year is pushing it towards two significant milestones—an all-time record valuation and a $3 trillion market capitalization. If the stock can climb another 10%, Apple will become the highest-valued company in the history of companies! Microsoft, Aramco, Amazon and Alphabet have valuations of one trillion. Geez, catch up, guys!